Last night as we put our kids to bed, Gabe choked me up a little bit. You see we have a bed time routine. Evie doesn’t always get it, she’s still pretty young, but Gabe gets it. I always ask the kids, “What is your favorite thing?” or “Who is your favorite person?” or both. After they give me an answer we say a prayer and thank God for our favorite things. I still help Evie form the words for the prayer, but I no longer need to help Gabe. He does an excellent job with his own prayer these days.

Now, just before bed last night, Gabe was pretending to be a doggy. He wanted a dog toy, so Mike drew, colored and cut out a dog toy from paper. Gabe thought it was swell. Consequently, he took it to bed and when asked, what was his favorite thing, he said it was his dog toy. So, after he said his “favorite thing” he went right into his prayer on his own. Now, I think we both expected a simple, “Thank you God for my dog toy. Amen.” We should know to expect a bit more from our son though.

Gabe proceeded to say something along the lines of, “Thank you God for giving me such a good Daddy that makes me such a great dog toy. Amen.”

Man, I love that kid!

Have you seen it? I can’t find it. Perhaps I should post some signs in the neighborhood: “Please return to owner”.

I seem to have lost a bunch of time somewhere. In four short weeks, my first born will be starting school. In a couple months, my second born will turn 3. Whoa! Whoa! Stop the clock…or at least slow it down, please. I’m begging here.

I’m so excited for Gabe to start school but in the same thought, our lives are changing so much at the end of this summer. Soon, I’ll be getting two of us ready in the mornings. I probably won’t be leaving breakfast for Mike to handle. I’ll probably need to find time to feed two of us in the morning. We will be purchasing school supplies over the next 4 weeks. Over dinner maybe I’ll get to hear some stories about what they did in school or something the teacher said or new friends.

Mike will get to spend more time with Evie. You know she doesn’t know it, but she kind of got gypped. When Gabe was a baby, one of us was constantly holding him and cuddling him. When he was a toddler, we were working with him with flash cards. We played with him frequently. We were completely engaged. Evie didn’t get that. When she was a baby, we just couldn’t hold her all the time. We had to tend to Gabe and keep an eye on Gabe. While she’s been a toddler we’ve had very little time to work with her, play with her and engage with her. So, Evie is going to get some one on one time with her Daddy during the days and I’m excited for her. She’s got one of the best daddies in the world and will be a lucky little girl to have him all to herself.

Mike said something that broke my heart. He said, “Once Gabe starts school, I’m not going to see my son.” The part that broke my heart is that he’s not exaggerating.

Most of you know we work opposite shifts. Consequently, one of us is always with the kids. Mike is home with them during the day. I’m with them in the evenings. Mike sleeps in split shifts. He goes to work between 9:30 PM and 10:30 PM. He gets home between 3:30 AM and 5:30 AM. These days he usually gets in around 4 AM. He sleeps until 7 AM, 2-3 hours of sleep. Then he’s up with the kids all day. He goes back to bed around 6:30 PM after I get home from work and sleeps another 2-3 hours, waking around 9 PM. Once Gabe starts school, Mike may see Gabe just for the car ride to school. He’ll get a couple hours with him in the afternoon. That is about it.

Mike and I have contemplated having Mike move to a weekend only work schedule and I’ve always been against it. You see, our only “family time” takes place on the weekends. This is the only time we co-parent. The only time Mike and I have alone time is on the weekends after the kids are in bed. So, selfishly I just haven’t wanted to forfeit any of that time. Hearing the sorrow in Mike’s voice as he pointed out he would have such little time with his son was all I needed to change my mind.

He needs to be with our children and our children need to be with him. So, maybe we won’t have as much alone time. Maybe we won’t have weekends available to do fun family things or visit our non-local family…but we will make this work.

Life is changing in the Roberts household.

I try but I’m sure I fail to convey exactly how much joy my children bring me. You all know the story. I wasn’t supposed to have any. I’ve got cyst covered ovaries and consequently thought my body was too broken to provide me with children of my own. Yet here I am with two angels. Two miracles.

I’ve never laughed quite like I’ve laughed as a Mom when my kids say or do something funny. For example, my son knows that there are two kinds of pizza. There is pizza with “big pepperoni”…like homemade pizza, pizza you order for delivery/carryout or some larger frozen pizza. Then there is pizza with “little pepperoni” like the small personal pizzas that we keep on hand for the kids that are easy to microwave and quick. Gabe calls them “little pizza”. The pepperoni is chopped into tiny little pepperoni squares. Similar to what might be found on a Totinos pizza.

Well, my hubby being clever put some left over “big pepperoni” on one of the small personal pizzas before heating and serving to Gabe. At which point my 4-year old son exclaimed, “HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL! Big pepperoni on little pizza!” Mike told me about this while I was at work and I literally laughed out loud. My cubicle neighbor even commented because I got such a tickle out of it, so I had to tell her about it too.

I’ve never felt fear quite like the feeling when one of my children is critically ill.

Parental emotions are really overwhelming but the most wonderful part is the JOY. The overwhelming joy that I feel every day of my life because of my family and my beautiful, wonderful children. The joy that brought tears to my eyes as I kissed my daughter and laid her down to bed tonight and she says to me, “Aw woo woo Mommy”. Words that maybe only Mommy and Daddy can understand. Words that mean so much and I kiss her sweet little face, as a tear of joy rolls down my cheek and I say, “I love you too, Boo. Now get some…”

She finishes my sentence, “seep.”

In another installment of “Kids Say The Darndest Things”…

Every so often we have “breakfast” for dinner. Tonight happened to be one of those lucky nights. I always start by frying the bacon. After I fried a few pieces, Gabe says, “I smell something.”

So, I asked him, “What do you smell?”

Confidently, he replied, “It’s bacon.”

Knowing that he likes bacon and I like it when he actually eats his dinner, I asked if he wanted bacon for dinner, sure the answer would be yes.

He replied in the most matter-of-fact tone, “No. I want bacon in my hand.”

:grin::grin::grin:

The best part is that he was dead serious. While his Dad and I were laughing, he was looking at us like, “Why isn’t there bacon in my hand yet?”

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

It is so hard to believe that four years have past. It seems like yesterday and then again it seems like there was never life before.

I remember it all so vividly. I remember…

April 2004 – Discussion with my husband how we can afford adoption in the states. Feeling certain after two years of trying that I would never carry my own child. Feeling broken but at the same time hopeful.

July 2004 – Just a few months later, I’m looking at that little blue plus sign on a stick. Not believing my very eyes. My heart racing as I tell me husband that we are pregnant.

August 2004 – Sitting on a couch for two days, after visiting the ER with bleeding and cramps. Certain that I’ve lost our child only to see his tiny little heartbeat on a monitor just two days later. At that moment, I was lost in love for my tiny baby that was no bigger than a small bean inside my belly.

March 2005 – Going to my regularly schedule prenatal visit, only to be admitted immediately to the hospital due to out of control blood pressure. Potentially fatal blood presure. Being given that terrible seizure medication that made me so sick, but kept me from dying or going into a coma. Then being rushed into an emergency c-section 4 weeks prior to my due date. Though I was so sick and miserable, when I heard the lungs of my newborn son give out a good healthy cry, I was overwhelmed by the joy and the tears fell.

So many landmark occassions were yet to come…

July 2005 – My beautiful miracle baby boy, Gabriel, took his first bites of cereal. Needless to say, he was a natural!

September 2005 – Gabe cut that first tooth. Over the next several months he would cut the rest and consequently develop one of the most beautiful smiles I have ever seen.

February 2006 – My little baby took his first steps. He took that first big leap from baby to toddler and he did it with flair. He didn’t just take a step and stumble, he stood up in the middle of the living room floor (also a first) and just took off. He took six whole steps before he stumbled. I guess he decided he was ready in no uncertain terms.

June 2006 – He was forming his first words. Words that only his parents could understand, but it was a welcome change. We could soon stop guessing what he needed. He could tell us for himself.

April 2007 – He moves from a crib to a bed. A smooth and painless transition.

There were so many more landmark occasions. Birthdays have come and gone. There are so many more landmark occasions to come. I actually consider today one of them. Today, my beautiful miracle turns four. Today, I must accept that my baby is now a little boy. Today, I realize that school is that much closer. Today, I cry because four years ago I was given the greatest gift ever…my family.

I love you, Gabey. You will ALWAYS be my baby.

In another additions of Kids Say The Darndest Things.

So, Gabe is darn near potty trained these days, but does have the occassional overnight accident. So, of course when that happens, his bedding must all be washed. Well this morning, I was folding laundry and it happened to be the bedding off our bed. He asks, “What are you doing, Mommy.”

“I’m folding our sheets.” I responded.

He replied with the utmost certainty, “Oh, Daddy peed in the bed.”

:lol::lol:

I must say the whole thought process tickled me, but the fact that it was Daddy that must have peed the bed and not Mommy was especially funny to me.

I’m not sure what was going on with Gabey, but for the past week, maybe two he’s been back to his usual self. Yay!

So, can a 3 year old (almost 4 year old) be depressed? Gabe just hasn’t been himself lately. He could just be recovering. The entire family spent last weekend horribly sick with a violent stomach bug. Mike, Gabe and I all spent about 12 hours puking. Starting at 9:00 PM Friday night, Gabe was the first to lose his dinner. Mike and I followed suit. For the first 5 hours, Gabe and I laid in my bed, puking and heaving every 30 minutes. The poor kid didn’t know what hit him. Since Mike and I really hadn’t slept at all Friday night, when Saturday rolled around we just had to parent in 2-hour shifts, while the other slept. I think we all felt better Sunday, just sore and weak from vomitting and tired from the lack of sleep.

So, maybe he’s just still recovering, but this week, he just hasn’t seemed himself. Tonight we had his favorite dinner (pirate food) and he wouldn’t eat anything. He seems lethargic and kind of sad.

I worry that he could be ill, but Mike says seem fine during the day for the most part. Mike thinks he just has some “after the holiday” blues. Is that possible for a 3 year old?

Here is a glimpse into our morning. I’ve got a few pictures:

And a lot of videos:

So, whenever I catch Gabe picking his nose, I ask him if he’s picking his nose and he always instantly says “no” as he rapidly whips his finger out of his nose.

The past couple of times I’ve asked the response has been a little different:

Mommy: Are you picking your nose?

Gabe: No. I’m just getting the boogers out.